A Journey of Support: How an Unexpected Decision Led to New Possibilities

In an unexpected twist of life, I found myself signing up for the NAPOLCOM Entrance Exam — something I honestly never planned. It all started from a simple desire to support the people I care about the most.

It began with my then-boyfriend, who was so eager to take the exam. Knowing how hard it was to secure a slot for the online filing, I reached out to my sister and asked if she could help him register. That time, lisod kaayo makasulod sa system, pero sige lang, basta makasuporta lang ko niya, go ra gyud ko.

But of course, di ko kutob ana. I also encouraged my younger sibling to try filing too. Who knows, maybe we’d both make it? The more, the merrier, diba?

When the day for online registration came, my sister was able to secure a slot for both my boyfriend and my sibling. Grabe jud to nga swerte, kay halos tanan magreklamo nga di makasulod sa portal.

Then, out of nowhere, I suddenly said, “Apila pud ko!” — and we all laughed. I didn’t even plan it; it just slipped out. But then I thought, why not join them? It would be fun, and besides, it’s nice to have company along the way. Who knows, basin makapasar pud ko ba!

As the exam day got closer, it ended up being just me and my boyfriend reviewing together. My sibling couldn’t continue because of their own board exam, so the two of us na lang ang nagpadayon.

Honestly, I wasn’t even nervous. I joined just for the experience, to show support, and to enjoy the ride. Busy man mi both with work, but we still found time to review a bit. My goal was simple — makalingaw lang, no pressure.

A week before the exam, my ever-thoughtful mama said she would come with us. She suggested we stay at my niece’s apartment, which was near the venue. That really helped us save time and money. Plus, mas kampante ko knowing Mama was there to look after us.

On the day of the exam, grabe ka-init and daghan kaayong tao. I was surprised to see so many police officers taking the Promotional Exam, too. Then my boyfriend — being his usual self — forgot his pencil and test permit! Mao tong nidagan siya balik sa apartment. Typical niya jud, hahaha.

We were assigned to different rooms, so after the exam, we just texted each other to meet outside. And honestly, the exam was more stressful than I expected. I even joked that I felt like a real police officer while answering the test! Good thing I had some background from my security-related job at that time, kay somehow it helped me get through.

After the exam, Mama treated us to lunch. Gutom kaayo mi, and the heat didn’t help either, so that meal felt like heaven.

Looking back, that moment was a mix of impulse and support — a simple act that led to something bigger. Sometimes, it’s really those unexpected decisions that open new doors. Even though things between us didn’t last, I’ll always be grateful for that moment — when a small act of love and support became a meaningful chapter in my life.

Her Love Still Lives in Me

When Mama passed away in May 2018, murag ni-collapse akong kalibutan. Everything happened so sudden, so unexpected, nga murag di pa ko katuo. The pain was too much, but I didn’t allow myself to really feel it. Instead, I kept myself busy — magpangita kog buhaton, mag-ukay-ukay ug trabaho — thinking nga if I stayed busy, maybe di ko kaayo ma-feel ang kasakit.

I handled almost everything — the arrangements, the errands, all the little details nga kinahanglan buhaton. I was everywhere, trying so hard not to break down. People might have thought strong ko, but the truth is, I was just trying to survive each day without falling apart.

Pag-human sa tanan, when everything finally settled down, that’s when it hit me. I went inside Mama and Papa’s room. The moment I entered, murag na-freeze ang time. I just stood there, staring at the bed, the things she used to touch, and the quiet that filled the room. Murag bug-at kaayo ang hangin. Then out of nowhere, tears just started falling.

Katong tanan nga akong gipugong for days, suddenly came out. I cried so hard, friend. Murag akong heart gi-pisil. I didn’t even know unsa akong gibati — kasakit, kalibog, numbness, tanan nag-mix. My heart just went numb, maybe because it couldn’t handle too much pain at once.

The days that followed felt blurry. The world suddenly felt different — colder, emptier. Every time I woke up, I still expected to hear Mama’s voice, but wala na. And every time ma-realize nako nga wala na gyud siya, the pain came back all over again. I kept asking myself, “Unsaon man nako ni? How do I go on without her?”

But life goes on, even if it’s hard. Little by little, I learned to move forward. One day at a time. Mama’s voice may be gone, but her love stayed — and that’s what kept me going.

I remember our last talk in the ICU. She looked at me, weak but still thinking about us, and said softly, “Atimana baya ninyo inyong Papa ha.” I forced a smile and said, “Ayaw ana, Ma. Diba magpulis pa ko? Ubanan pa ko nimo.” But deep inside, I knew what she meant. I just didn’t want to accept it.

That moment stayed with me. Every word, every look. I wanted so much for her to see me become the person she believed I could be. I can still remember when she accompanied me to file for the NAPOLCOM Entrance Exam. I was nervous, but having her there made me brave. When the results came out and I passed, grabe ka-happy si Mama. Makita gyud sa iyang nawong nga proud kaayo siya.

After that, she became my daily alarm clock. “Sige na, bangon, mag-jogging ta,” she would say early in the morning. She wanted me to be ready for when I’d apply to the PNP. That was our small routine — her way of showing support, of pushing me to chase my dream.

But then, kalit lang, wala na siya. Murag gi-kawatan kog kalig-on. The person who was my strength and inspiration was suddenly gone.

Even now, it still hurts, knowing she didn’t get to see everything I achieved. Pero bisan wala na siya physically, I can feel her presence. When I finally applied to the PNP, I could feel her guiding me — like she was holding my hand, telling me, “Kaya ra lagi na nimo.”

I believe she’s still with me, watching over me every step of the way. Maybe not in the way I hoped, but in the way I need.

Mama may be gone, but her love lives on — in my heart, in my dreams, in everything I do. She’s still here, reminding me that I was loved deeply, and that love will always be my strength.

Accepting the Past and Embracing the Future

    Looking back at everything that happened, I can't help but feel sad about the situation. Despite my attempts to change things, I realized that I can't undo the past. So now, I choose to just accept it because it's over, and there's no going back. From here on, I'll just keep moving forward and focus on the opportunity that lie ahead. 

   It's okay to look back at the past, but never try to change it but learn from it.

Valencia City Half Marathon (My 5Km Category)

    Sa akong mga pagdagan, ang tinuod nako nga kalaban dili ang uban kundi ang akong kaugalingon. It's not about beating others, but about overcoming my own limits —ang pagsukol sa kakapoy ug ang pagtuo nga kaya nako. Every step reminds me that ako ra gihapong kaugalingon akong kakampi. My determination pushes me to keep going, bisan sa kakapoy. In the end, ang tinuod nako nga kompetisyon dili uban kundi ang akong kaugalingon. So, every kilometer is a discovery nga ang akong pinakusgan nga ally mao ra gihapon ang akong kaugalingon. Anaa sa akong kasingkasing ug panghunahuna ang gahom to reach my goals (to cross that finish line 🏁😎), and only I can take myself there.

Anyway, proud 5K Category Finisher here. ❤️️😂

   A month or two ago, gi-invite ko sa akong igsoon nga mag-join sa ilang e-organized nga run this coming August 2024. Honestly, wala gyud ko’y excitement ato. I told him, “Sure, I’ll think about it,” pero deep down, dili gyud ko interesado kay naa pa koy personal issues with my family, labi na ani akong igsoon (disappointed). This made me even less inclined to participate. Pero gi set aside japon ang personal issues kay supportahan ta kay igsoon ta na. I decided to ask akong partner, si El-el, if she wanted to join too, thinking nga basin iyang enthusiasm maka-motivate nako. As expected, super excited kaayo siya ug dayon niingon nga “Yes!” Her energy was so contagious, pero wa gihapon nako matangtang akong mga doubts.

    But as the days passed, nakita nako nga seryoso kaayo si El-el about the run. She kept talking about it, and her excitement made me rethink my decision. Bisag unsa pa kalagot nako sa akong igsoon, I realized nga dili nako gusto i-let down si El-el. Gusto nako ipakita nga I support her, so after some reflection, I made the final decision—nag-register gyud ko for the run.

    Even after signing up, wala gihapon ko’y gana. Dili ko gusto mag-jog, mag-training, or even think about running. The only thing nga nag-keep nako going was the thought nga this wasn’t just for the run, pero para sa akong health na pud. And, of course, to show my support for El-el. Lisod kaayo, especially with all the negative feelings nga naa nako, pero I kept reminding myself nga this was more than just a race—it was about being there for my partner and taking a step towards better health.

            Thank you to the Valencia City Half Marathon, organizers and sponsors for making this run possible. Your hard work and support created an incredible experience for all of us runners. Looking forward to more events like this (on time)!